When Everything You Work For Becomes Just Memories — What Losing Empress Taught Me About Life, Loss & What Really Matters

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    Ever since Empress passed, my mom hasn’t been able to step into her room. She just can’t. The weight of her absence is so heavy that even the sight of her belongings breaks something inside her. So, whenever my mom needs something from Empress’s things, she sends me.

At first, it was simple — just grabbing a few items. But recently, I had to go deeper. I had to go through her clothes, her bags, her shoes, her documents. I had to search through eight bags in total. And as I sifted through each one, my heart shattered a little more.


These were things Empress spent her life gathering — things she cared about, things she worked for. Yet now, they just sit there. Useless. Untouched. Silent reminders of a life suddenly stopped.

It was painful beyond words. I fought back tears while going through her things. I distracted myself mentally just to finish the task. After I was done, I closed the bags and put them away, sitting down quietly to think.


I asked myself, is this how it will be for me one day? Will everything I’ve worked for — my clothes, my gadgets, my money, my possessions — just become meaningless once I’m gone? For Empress, it’s especially hard because she was my mom’s only daughter. Those clothes won’t fit anyone else in the family.


So what happens? We either give them to charity or keep them locked away, memories trapped inside fabric and paper.

I thought about the purpose of life. Why do we spend so much time chasing material things, building our collections, guarding our possessions? Because in the end, when sickness or death comes knocking, none of it matters.


When Empress fell ill, she couldn’t even operate her own phone or take care of herself. I held her gadgets, her ATM cards, her money. She was there, but disconnected from it all. Some memories from those days are so sharp, I have to block them out just to survive.


It’s been over eight months since she passed, and the pain hasn’t faded. I know one day a wave of emotion will hit me, and I might break down completely. But for now, I’m learning to live with it, trying to find ways to distract myself.


And through all this, I realize that life isn’t about the possessions. It’s about the time spent with the people you love. It’s about the moments you give back, the impact you leave behind.


So don’t be so possessive of your stuff. The cars, the money, the phones — they won’t matter when your health or life is on the line. What matters is the love, the memories, and the legacy.

That’s the lesson Empress left me. And it’s one I carry with me every day.


For Empress, always.

— Jaes

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