When Grief Feels Endless — Finding Peace in the Promise of Reunion"

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There’s a common saying that everything in life has an advantage and a disadvantage — a light and a shadow. 


But I get it, sometimes it feels impossible to see any good in loss, especially when you lose someone who was your whole world. For me, that person was Empress — my closest sibling, my best friend, my heart.


Losing Empress felt like losing a piece of myself. Everyone who knew us knew how deep our bond was. 

At first, the pain was unbearable. The first few days, weeks, and months were a blur of shock and sorrow. Some days I didn’t know how I even survived. The weight of grief crushed me, leaving me gasping for air.


But as time went on, and I traveled through the different stages of grief, I discovered something unexpected — a strange comfort that helped me carry on when nothing else could. 


It might sound weird, but the thought of my own eventual death — the day I will finally get to see Empress again — is what brings me peace in the darkest moments.


I come from a family of five siblings. Lost my brother at a tender age (he was 4).

We lost our dad in 2016, my eldest brother in 2020, and then Empress just six months ago. Now, only my elder brother, my mom, and I remain. 


The pain of losing each of them was deep, but Empress’s death hit me the hardest. She was the closest to me.

When grief floods me, and sadness threatens to drown me, I hold onto the thought that one day, I’ll leave this world and be reunited with her. 


That thought is a quiet, steady light in the overwhelming darkness — a peace that calms my racing mind and aching heart. It’s not a thought I share easily, because many might misunderstand it. It’s not about wanting to leave or giving up on life. It’s about knowing that no matter how harsh this world can be, there is hope beyond it — a better place where love never dies.


If you’re reading this, chances are you have lost someone too. Maybe a parent, a sibling, a friend — someone who meant everything to you. You know the pain I’m talking about. If you loved someone as deeply as I loved Empress, you’ll understand this feeling.


I don’t encourage anyone to rush or escape life prematurely. I believe every day we live here matters. But when the day comes — the day God has set for each of us to leave this world — I don’t think I’ll feel fear or sadness. Instead, I’ll feel relief and joy, knowing that something better awaits.


I pray there is an afterlife where I will see my family again. Where I will embrace Empress and the others I’ve lost. Until that day, I carry their love inside me. And in the darkest moments, I find peace in the promise that grief doesn’t expire — it lives on in memories, and the hope of reunion keeps us going.


For Empress, always.

— Jaes

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