First Heartbreak, Real Growth

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There’s a moment in life when heartbreak isn’t just a passing sting—it becomes a teacher. I’ve gone through breakups before, but I never truly felt anything. 


Back then, as soon as a relationship ended, I was already moving on, distracted by someone else. I made sure the new person was exciting, attractive, captivating, and suddenly, the pain of losing someone faded before it even had a chance to settle.


It was a shield, a distraction, and for years, it worked. But it also robbed me of something important: the chance to feel, to grow, to process the heartbreak the way it deserves to be processed.


This time, it was different. For the first time in my life, at the age of 28, I allowed myself to feel heartbreak. I didn’t run, I didn’t seek someone new to mask the pain. I chose to sit with it, to stare it in the face, and to embrace it fully. And let me tell you—there’s a strange kind of courage in that. The kind that comes from saying: I will face this pain, I will experience it, I will heal properly.


Healing from a breakup without clinging to rebounds or using someone to fill the void? That’s true strength.
It’s one of the hardest battles—facing your scars alone, transforming pain into growth.
Real healing is about finding peace within, not in someone else.


I traveled back home to a quiet place, away from distractions, away from noise, and I gave myself time. Months have passed, and slowly, surely, I feel stronger. I’m getting better day by day. I’m learning that heartbreak isn’t about losing someone—it’s about learning yourself. About discovering the boundaries, the standards, the love you are willing to give and the love you truly deserve.


This journey has shown me real clarity. I know exactly what I want from a partner. I know the kind of person I want to share my life with, someone whose character aligns with my own values, someone whose love is consistent, steady, and intentional. I’ve learned to accept my faults, to understand where I went wrong, and to recognize that healing requires accountability from both sides. But most importantly, I’ve learned that I don’t have to settle for anything less than what feels right for me.


Heartbreak is painful, yes. But when you choose to face it instead of running from it, it becomes transformative. It teaches patience, self-respect, emotional resilience, and the courage to trust that the right person will come, when the time is right.


If you’re reading this and you’re in the middle of heartbreak, know this: it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to grieve. Don’t rush to fill the void with someone else. Sit with your pain, reflect, and grow. Because when you heal consciously, you emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for the love you truly deserve.


This is my first heartbreak at 28, but it has taught me more about myself than any relationship before. And even in the darkest moments, I can now say: I survived. I’m growing. I’m learning. And when love comes again, I’ll be ready—not just to be with someone, but to be whole, first, within myself.


For Empress, always.

— Jaes

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