When Grief Doesn’t Fade: Why Seeing Their Face Still Hurts

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You ever scroll through social media, minding your business, then boom—a photo.
Their photo.
And suddenly your chest tightens. Your mind races. Panic creeps in out of nowhere.

If you’ve been there, you’re not crazy. You’re not weak.
You’re in mourning.

That kind of reaction—tight chest, racing thoughts, sudden spirals—isn’t just because you’re idle.
Yeah, being idle can amplify it, but it doesn't create it.
What you’re feeling is grief.
That’s trauma.
That’s your nervous system still trying to process the loss of someone who meant everything to you.

Seeing their face again reopens the entire wound—their smile, their spirit, the moments you shared.
And even when you're trying to keep it together, your body remembers.
That’s why your mind “beats.”
That’s why you feel panic bubbling up.
Not because you’re broken…
But because your love never found a landing place.

Mourning doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t fade just because time passed.
It needs space.
It needs grace.

Distraction might give you a break, sure. But true healing?
It comes from letting yourself feel… and still choosing to stand up after.
Even with shaking legs.

Grief isn’t about forgetting.
It’s learning how to live with the love you still carry—and the silence that came after.


For Empress, always.

— Jaes

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